And I love London. Don't get me wrong, I love London,
but, you know,
apart from the language problem, I can't take the driving.
Because it, you know, it's on the wrong side, and I...
Every time I drive a car here,
I'm convinced I'm going to die in a crash.
Sidney!
What's the matter?
It's Peter.
You said Peter was out of town.
Well, that's what he told me.
Come on.
What do you mean, come on?
(STUTTERING) I ordered prawns.
Just pay, all right? Just pay.
What do you mean, pay? All I do is...
Fine, it's her birthday.
Come on.
Maybe he's got another woman on the side,
and he likes you, but he's sexually attracted to her.
Thanks, Sidney.
Well, why doesn't he have his chauffeur?
I don't know, whatever he's doing, he must want it to be secret.
Oh, I told you he went the other way!
Can we go home, please?
It's starting to rain.
(GROANS) I can't believe he lied to me.
Maybe he's doing something that he's ashamed to tell you about.
Maybe he belongs to one of those clubs, or he's a cross-dresser or something.
Or maybe he does folk dancing.
Oh, I'm sure it's probably something that when he tells me,
I'll just feel foolish for thinking he lied.
I'm sure. You know, not everything in this world is sinister.
You know, just practically everything.
(GROANS) That Indian food made me sick.
You hardly touched your cobra salad. How can you be sick?
(SCREAMING) Help!
A woman's been strangled!
Help! A woman's been strangled! Help, call the police!
Somebody call the police! There's been a murder!
There's been a murder upstairs.
Help!
MAN: Have you got a phone? Have you got a phone? Call the police.
Could it be the Tarot Killer? They found a Tarot card. It's him.
I can't believe it! She lives in this building.
It's him again. They found the Tarot card.
Elizabeth Gibson, another short-haired brunette.
(SIGHS) We should have gone to the police earlier.
Well, you know... You said that they wouldn't believe us
and they may not.
Sidney, it's about time we show my story to a real newspaperman.
By real, you mean what?
One that's living.
Vivian's father has a friend that works at The Observer.
Well, it's very vivid and rather shocking,
and there are some genuine circumstantial bits of evidence.
But let me give you a lesson in professional journalism.
No newspaper should or would ever run this story.
What? Why?
It would be fatally irresponsible and libelous.
All you have here are a number of titillating speculations.
Flamboyant theories that tarnish a man, and a well-known figure at that,
without a single shred of substantial proof.
So his mother was a short-haired brunette.
So he came late for a poker game
and said he was going away on a business trip and he got caught lying.
Yes, but who keeps a Tarot deck under a French horn?
It's not against the law to own a Tarot deck, or keep it wherever you like.
You'd look pretty foolish in court with your accusations,
and that's where you'll wind up.
Because he'd have no choice but to sue you and the newspaper,
and he'd win.
And to go to the police?
I'll come to that.
But first let me continue my tedious professorial lecture.
Vivian's dad and I go way back.
He said you were a journalism student.
Hmm.
You talk about getting a tip.
Okay, you won't disclose your source,
but what you have done is let your imagination run wild.
No, no.
What if I told you that my source happened to be a certain Joe Strombel?
- The late Joe Strombel? - Yep.
You mean, before he died he gave a student reporter
a major story and didn't follow it up himself?
We didn't say it was before he died.
- What? - No, it...
He got the story before he died,
and then he died before he could follow it up.
(CHUCKLES) Well, why did he give it to you? He didn't know he was dying.
I don't buy it.
I knew Joe Strombel well.
If he'd had a tip that he considered reliable,
he would certainly have pursued it himself,
from the grave, if necessary.
What about how Peter was in the neighborhood
the night the murder was committed?
(CLEARS THROAT)
I realize as a student how exciting it must have been
to think that you were onto something so spectacular.
Hey, she is onto something!
This kid is a bloodhound. Look at her!
She could sell the story to any tabloid in town.
Hmm.
Now that I've preached on the realities of accurate reporting,
I want to tell you how catastrophic for everybody involved
it would have been if you had, say, taken
the results of your investigation to a tabloid.
Today, the police have apprehended the Tarot Card Serial Killer.
And it most assuredly is not Peter Lyman.
What?
Every paper in town is going to press with it as we speak.
It was a handyman named Henry Banks who has confessed.
Banks is a delusional paranoid who's given Scotland Yard
information that only the killer could possibly know.
He's led the police to two additional bodies
and his DNA and a fingerprint they found check out.
I know this puts a crimp in your scoop,
but Henry Banks is the Tarot Card Serial Killer.
Not Lord Lyman's son.
Well, I can't say I'm not walking on air.
Oh, Jesus, If I ever catch that Joe Strombel, I'll kill him.
I only hope Peter forgives me for what I've done.
For what?
I lied to him. I'm not Jade Spence.
I'm a pushy, duplicitous, ambitious college student.
I lied to him, over and over.
Darling, he lied to you, too, so it's even.
His lies pale in comparison to the enormity of what I've done.
So marry him as Jade Spence. Don't tell him.
(STUTTERING) You know, you don't have to be Sondra Pransky ever again.
Marry him as Jade Spence.
Yeah, but I don't want to have to get you a Father's Day gift every year.
You know, I don't know how to break this to you, honey, but you were adopted. Okay?
Your mother and I, we were at the orphanage,
we wanted a handicapped child, and...
Ah, finally. Just you and I all weekend.
Yeah.
I thought you'd like it here.
- It's lovely. - Mmm-hmm.
- Peter? - Yes.
- I have a confession to make. - Oh, God, so do I.
Oh, well, let me go first.
Actually, no, let me, please,
because mine's been bothering me all day.
I just want to get it off my chest.
When I told you I was going away for a few days on business,
I was lying.
- I know. - You know? How?
- Oh, I saw you. - You saw me? No.
- I was at dinner, and... - With your father?
- Actually... - Well, anyway, it doesn't matter. Really.
The truth is, that a company my father owns
is about to merge with a company in the Middle East.
It's a very sensitive situation,
and the less anyone knows about it, the better.
And we just didn't want the press to sniff it out.
I mean, that's no excuse, really.
I'm just very sorry for the extreme secrecy.
No, no, no, it's fine. I'm glad.
It's your own secret information. That's fine.
So your father took you out for a birthday dinner
and you saw me. I mean, how unnerving.
God, I mean, the thing I hate most in the world is lying.
Uh-huh.
What?
- Peter... - Yes, Jade?
Peter...
Oh, yes. What did you want to tell me?
Uh...
Jade, there's nothing you can tell me that...
My name is not Jade Spence.
It's not?
No. It's Sondra Pransky.
And my father is not my father. His name is Sidney Waterman.
He's a magician called Splendini.
I'm a journalism student.
Don't ask me what kind of crazy misinformation we received
to believe you might be the Tarot Card Killer.
(STUTTERING) I mean, I didn't know you at this time. Remember?
And, of course, as soon as I got to know you,
I knew that it couldn't possibly be true.
And the police have him now, so everything's fine.
Of course, along the route I fell for you,
and now I totally blew it, and...
Who told you this?
Oh, a newspaperman. He's now deceased.
Very foolish. He was eager for his last scoop.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I just
totally understand if you never want to speak to me again
- or if you don't want to see me... - Miss Pransky.
Not only am I not angry with you, but you...
- (LAUGHS) You've absolutely made my day! - What?
Just suspecting that I could be such an imaginative,
dramatic fiend. I love it.
- You do? - Yes.
I think it's one of the funniest, craziest things I've ever heard in my life.
I can't wait to tell the chaps at the club.
(CHUCKLING) Peter?
Yes, darling.
- I have to ask you something. - Yes, anything. Absolutely.
Why did you hide that Tarot deck in your music room?
How do you know about that?
I was so paranoid. I... It's crazy.
- But I snuck in. - Oh, dear, it was going to be a surprise.
I bought them for you. They're Victorian Tarot cards.
You told me you were into that kind of thing.
- What? Oh... - It was gonna be a gift for you.
Oh, you're so... I feel like such an idiot!
Darling, no, no, no, never mind, never mind. What a shame.
- Let's forget about it. - No...
Huh? Let's just...
Now that we've confessed our sins, let's move on with our lives, huh?
- Really? - Yeah. I want to hear all about the real you.
And I assure you in advance, I'll love it.
(MOANING) Oh, God,
you snuck into my music room, did you?
So the reason why he was skulking around,
was 'cause he had this private family business
which is too delicate to discuss, actually.
Sorry, I don't buy it.
- What? - The man is a liar and a murderer.
And I say that with all due respect.
- Sidney. - Child, I know what I'm talking about.
Don't call me that, all right?
Do you remember when we were out on the estate,
I found a clue, you thought I was nuts?
I thought you were nuts so many times I can't recall the exact one.
Do you remember this? Do you remember this little item? This clue?
- Yes, Betty G. - Yes, Betty G.
Now, I checked all the girls that were murdered.
The one that was killed the night we saw Peter on the street, was named
(CLEARS THROAT) Elizabeth Gibson.
So?
So Betty is short for Elizabeth a lot of times.
Oh, come on, Sidney. That's a real stretch. You're reaching now.
Look, supposing you wanted to rub somebody out and not get caught.
Nobody wants to get caught, Sidney.
Look,
he wants to get rid of Elizabeth Gibson. Betty Gibson. Betty Gibson.
So, there's a series of murders
with a guy that's got a real style. A Tarot card.
They said he was a total maniac.
He buys a Tarot deck and let's say he hides it.
Hypothetically, he hides it, let's say, in a music room.
- Let's say he hides it in, let's say, a French horn. - Oh, Sidney.
- In a French horn! - I'm losing patience with you.
I'm not saying the guy did all the murders.
I'm saying that he just did Elizabeth Gibson,
then folded it into the series of the Tarot Killer so he wouldn't get caught.
Henry Banks confessed to all the murders.
Henry Banks is deranged! He hallucinates!
My God.
Henry... And you know those guys like to brag when they get caught.
Henry Banks, you know...
Where are you going? The cops will dump every unsolved murder on Henry Banks.
They haven't caught anybody in years.
- Peter wouldn't hurt a fly. - Oh, really?
What about a fly who speaks?
- What? - Yes.
Why would Peter kill a prostitute?
Because it looks terrible on his resume.
Who knows what kind of sordid life this guy has?
Have you completely lost your mind? What is wrong with you?
Peter being blackmailed by a prostitute? It's ridiculous.
What are you putting in your Metamucil?
You know... Where are you going?
You don't understand! It would kill his reputation!
Oh, can you bring the water out?
(MUTTERING)
Can I say one thing? Can I just tell you one thing?
Joe Strombel would not agree with you.
I don't want to talk about Joe Strombel, all right?
Even a great reporter can be wrong.
But he's not wrong.
Blackmail. I see it all over.
You are a cynical crapehanger
who always sees the glass half-empty!
No, you're wrong. I see the glass half-full, but of poison.
And you're gonna wind up drinking it!
You don't know anything. You don't have a reporter's instincts, okay?
You're some guy who vanishes silk handkerchiefs
and cuts people's neckties off.
Do everybody a favor. Go back to your card tricks, all right?
Did you tell her?
I did. I told her.
And I made it seem as though it all suddenly just came to me.
I know I'm right.
She just won't listen to me. She hates me.
Yeah. I... You know,
sometimes, I got to say, I worry about that girl.
I don't think I'll be seeing you anymore.
Well, if there's a scoop to be had here,
she's going to get it for you.
You can only cheat death so many times,
and I've used every trick I know.
You look after her. She's a decent kid.
And check his Tarot deck. See if a card's missing.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
I'm a reporter.
I'm doing a story on Elizabeth Gibson, and I know she lived here.
I didn't know her. I hardly ever saw her come and go. She was quiet.
All right.
I knew what she did for a living.
But whether she used to entertain her clients here, or not, I couldn't say.
(HUMMING)
(STUTTERING) Oh, excuse me. I'm a reporter.
And I'm doing a story
(CLEARS THROAT) about Elizabeth Gibson.
If there's any comments, anything you know about her that I...
- What paper? What paper are you from? - The Washington Post.
I'm one of the top reporters on the...
Did you see All the President's Men? I was the short guy.
(BOTH STUTTERING)
Why is an American paper interested in this?
No, no, we are, we are. We're doing a big story.
The Travel and Leisure section is doing a big spread
on places to avoid like the plague.
And so, I'm...
I'll make it very worth your while, you know and...
All right, all right, all right. I knew Betty Gibson.
Mmm-hmm, and she was very tough.
But I don't think that she deserved to die.
Did you say Betty Gibson?
Everyone called her Betty. That was her name.
Really? And did you know any of her clients at all?
(SCOFFS)
I mean, she knew millions of men, didn't she? She was very sexy.
You know. Not that you'd know that from those pictures.
She used to be a really pretty baby-faced blonde.
You know, the sort men go nuts for.
A blonde? But in the paper... The pictures in the paper...
Oh, no, I know, I know.
She made the mistake of cutting it off and dyeing it black.
God knows why.
Maybe it's to please one of her regulars.
She had steady clients?
Well, yeah, one for sure.
Look, these guys never use their real names, okay?
But there was this one rich kid that she saw a lot.
And his name was Peter.
Peter what?
Peter... Peter Yardley. Peter Yardley?
Yardley. Yardley.
Hello? Hello, this is Mr. Spence.
(STUTTERING) Sid. Sid Waterman Spence.
This is Sid Waterman Spence. Where have I called?
Oh, hello, Sidney. It's Peter Lyman.
Sondra and I are spending the weekend at my father's country house.
You could have come.
That's okay. She gave me this number to call. May I speak with her?
Yes, one second.
Hi, Sidney.
Listen, I got a treasure trove of information here.
I just was snooping with...
On Elizabeth Gibson.
She's called Betty. Betty! She's called Betty.
And she had some kind of a long relationship...
A special relationship with some young guy, Peter.
The last name doesn't click, but I'm sure it's the same.
This is crazy.
Look, stop making trouble, Sidney. The case is closed.
Listen, this thing adds up.
You're alone up there with a very, very dangerous man.
That's two verys.
You got to get back to town right away.
Sidney, if I thought there was a shred of proof,
I would never let my personal feelings get involved, all right?
The truth is, I'm crazy about the guy.
I can't keep obsessing over tantalizing conspiracy theories.
You know, I'm sure that he killed her
and made it look like a Tarot killing.
You know, you don't see it because you got stars in your eyes.
Look, I don't... This is crazy! I don't want to talk about this anymore.
It's too upsetting for me, all right?
Let me have my nice weekend.
I'll talk to you when I get back.
Stop putting these paranoid thoughts in my head!
- Is Sidney okay? - Yes, yes.
You know, I love Sidney, I really do,
but he's just... He's got a part missing, you know, he's crazy!
- Yes, really? - Mmm-hmm.
Like what?
We'll talk about it later.
- Let me change, okay? - Mmm-Hmm.
Yes? Oh, yes, sir.
Yes. My daughter is in the country with Mr. Lyman.
And I'm gonna be driving up there later and she asked me
if I could pick up her red cashmere sweater. She thinks she left it upstairs.
Red cashmere?
Yes, it's a red sweater. It's a kind of a red, tomato red,
like a fire engine. A red. A rouge.
- I understand, sir. Red. - Yes, yes.
I'll see if I can find it.
Sir?
(STUTTERING) Oh, I was just checking out the Stradivarius.
I play a few pieces myself on the violin. Prokofiev and Bartok, the Hot Canary...
But Mr. Lyman is the only person to have the combination to that room.
Yes, but he wanted to share it with me because, you know,
in case something happened,
you know, life is very capricious.
A stroke, a sudden embolism or lightning... You know I...
Darling, I love you. I mean that sincerely.
You're a wonderful woman, you're a tremendous servant and a credit to your race.
And I mean that. From the bottom of my heart I say that to you.
I notice you didn't get the red sweater.
She probably left it in another bedroom.
You know, she's got a little problem with promiscuity.
But...
So, I'll be going. I'll call you. We'll have lunch.
Mr. Lyman, sir, Mr. Spence has been here and he's been into the music room.
What do you mean?
A most unusual sequence of events.
Mr. Spence came by looking for his daughter's sweater.
Said she'd requested it.
Next thing I knew, he was in the music room.
Sir, I think he'd been drinking, from his behavior.
Yes, yes.
Yes. Okay, Margaret, thank you. Goodbye.
Is everything okay?
Yes. Yes, it will be.
It's so nice to be out here with you, just away
- from the rest of the world and... - Hmm.
Yes, I often come out here to read and, well, and fish.
There's trout in the lake.
What are you thinking about?
- You really want to know? - Yes.
Just how ironic life is, and tragic.
Why?
Well, that I met you by rescuing you from drowning
and found you totally enchanting
and now we've come full cycle and, alas, you're going to have to drown.
What?
Oh, I imagine by now Sidney's confirmed that I killed Betty Gibson.
I mean, in my own defense, there really was no other way out.
At first I managed to hide my identity from her,
but I saw her too many times over the years
and she learned who I was, and...
Well, it became a constant demand for money
and I just could not let that go on, could I?
I mean, my whole life and career
would be just hostage to her moods at all times.
So, I studied the Tarot case,
I rehearsed my plan, and, well, you know the rest.
If you do something to me, Sidney's gonna find out!
He'll tell someone.
No, no, no. You see, you will go in a boating accident,
and Sidney will go later tonight.
No one knows of your relationship with him,
because, after all, you're not actually father and daughter, are you?
And no one will think twice to investigate the death of some obscure vaud...
Are you listening?
No one will think twice to investigate the death
of some obscure vaudevillian called Splendini, who is really a stranger to me.
Help!
Help! Someone help me!
(CHUCKLES)
Yes, very quiet, isn't it?
This is the advantage of a private lake.
Get off me! Get off me!
(GRUNTS)
- Get off me! - Come...
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(CRASHING)
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(PANTING)
(FEIGNING CRYING) Yes, police.
Yes, this is Peter Lyman. I need the police immediately.
At the Lyman estate.
There's been a terrible boating accident. A woman has drowned.
It's awful. Please come right away.
Thank you. Thank you.
(SIGHS)
They think they know where the body is.
I'm so sorry, sir.
When last I saw her, she...
She just said she wanted to go out there to communicate with nature.
Just to think she wanted some peace and quiet and...
She wasn't depressed, or anything like that, was she, sir?
God, no. No.
I mean, unless she was keeping it from me.
You heard no cries for help?
No! No, I was listening to music in here, damn it.
(SIGHS) It's just so ironic.
Because the way I first met her
I rescued her from drowning in our club pool.
And she was a very, very weak swimmer.
Hello?
I was faking it at the pool to get your attention.
Actually, I used to be captain of the Brooklyn Community Swim Team.
Fascinating observation.
Lyman lost a cufflink at the flat of a prostitute,
who was later killed by the Tarot Card Killer.
Well, this upright chap certainly enjoyed patronizing some dodgy women.
Unfortunately for Elizabeth Gibson, she elected to blackmail him.
It's a beautifully written story
and one of the best bits of investigative journalism in a long time.
And this paper is proud to run it.
Oh, I have to share the credit with Joe Strombel.
An inspiration,
who taught me more than I could ever explain to anyone.
And to the late Sidney Waterman.
Splendini.
A nice guy who helped out with the investigation
and without whom I never could have made it.
Sidney, wherever you are,
I'll never forget you.
How did you get here?
Me?
I couldn't get used to driving on the goddamn wrong side of the street!
(STUTTERING) You know, I was driving up to the country,
and in the United States, I would have been a hero. I would have saved her.
I would have...
But here, you know... That's the one drawback of living in London.
Granted, the theater's better, there's many good Indian restaurants.
Well, what did you do?
What do I do? I'm Splendini. Magician.
(EXCLAIMS)
- Would you like to see something? - Oh, yes, please.
- Do we have time for a card trick? - Yes.
I believe we have eternity.
I'm going to show you a little trick now.
I just want to say from the bottom of my heart, I mean this sincerely...
I say this with all due respect.
You are a wonderful group and a fantastic group of people.
I love you and I feel that coming back from you.
And you may be deceased, but you should not be discouraged.
Because, you know...
Don't think of being dead as a handicap.
You know, when I was a child, I stuttered.
But with stick-to-it-iveness and perseverance,
you know, you can never tell what could happen.
Now, I want you to take a card, Alma.
Go ahead, take any card you want.
Just pick it. Pick it. Go ahead, sweetheart.